Hey, remember me?

(Wow! I haven’t posted anything on here in a month 😭 That makes me so sad!)
First off, I want to thank everyone who is reading this right now and I want tell you how much I appreciate you keeping up with me up to this point, and if this is the first time you’re reading any of my posts, welcome and thank you for taking time out of your busy life to read my words!
It has been a really hectic month, I must say. On top of normal life stressors, I’ve just been dealing with the craziest things along with crazier emotions.
At first, I was thinking about just stopping this blog altogether but I really wanted to put a lot of thought into it before I made such a decision. Do people actually read this? Do people care what I think? Do people think I’m weird? Do people care what hair product I even use to make my hair do it’s thing!? It’s not like I have millions of followers and that I would be letting anyone down, it’s the fact that I would honestly be letting myself down. I started this blog with intentions to channel all emotions and creative energy into something for others to enjoy and relate to. And in doing that at first, I just ran myself into the ground. I was running on empty. So in the past month, I have been reevaluating things and just taking a breath.
The past month I’ve lost and gained a lot of support. I been learning to let go of the negative energy and also learning that not everyone is going to like you. And that’s okay with me because I don’t post or say things I don’t believe in and I back myself 100 percent. But I’m also not afraid to say sorry and admit that I’m in the wrong.
This past month was kind of a reality check. After getting into a car accident that could have really been bad, I’m just seeing clearer. I literally walked away from it with a sore neck and back and my dogs were fine. I’m so blessed. My car is replaceable and God has major plans for me. I’m not done here. And I’m not done with this blog at all. I’ve only just begun.

So here’s my plan:

  • Starting Sunday (May 13th) I’m back. I’m going to find a new balance to this.
  • I’m going to get back to my music and taking lessons.
  • I’m going to get back to the gym (starting tomorrow with the help and support of my best friend , Steph).
  • I’m going to get back to my Atkins diet, because that was working so well for me.
  • I’m going to be on TIME for work from now on (why does 8am come so early and how do I adult?!)
  • I’ve already started getting involved in my church women’s Bible study, which I’m so excited about.
  • I want to save money to buy a house, because my rent for my apartment is probably more than people are paying for their mortgage. I just need a down payment.
  • Meet new friends and hangout at different SAFER places. I was hanging out with some sketchy people at sketchy places and I’m just done. The people I was hanging out with were really bringing me down and just really mean to be honest with no goals. That’s just not who I am and not who I need to be around.

I just need my routine back. I need to focus and push through everything that gets me anxious, everything that holds me back, all of my insecurities need to disappear. I need to wake up every morning with a positive attitude. I need to focus on making each day count and focusing on making good days consistent. And also I need to remind myself that bad days happen to everyone and not to beat myself up over it. Everyone goes through rough patches.
I am a major work in progress and I think it’s really important that I recognize my flaws and things I want to work on. It’s important that I have goals.

I really appreciate everyone who has hung in there with me. I maybe be late, but I’m worth the wait. 😎

NOW, I gotta go read the entire book of Ruth in the Bible for discussion tomorrow during Bible study and I haven’t read a thing. #procrastination Also, waking up at 4am to be at the gym at 5am before work. Wish me luck y’all because I am trying to better myself and find more of myself at the same time.

Accepting all prayers/good vibes/whatever good positive energy you can throw my way! If you’re going through this too, please reach out to me and let’s get through it together. I expect for everyone to hold me accountable and if I miss a day with posting, crack tha damn whip.

I really would appreciate any feedback you guys can give. What do you want to see more of? What do you not love so much? Do you like videos (my editing skills need work and you could make a drinking game out of the amount of times I say “um”)? Do you like the music segments on Mondays? Please shoot me a message in the contact tab of the  menu or leave a quick comment! Anything is greatly appreciated. 💋

 

 
xoxo,

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2 Comments Add yours

  1. Lisa G. Hawkins says:

    I just want you to know I enjoy your blog. I have been following you from the start and I like the work you have done so far. I am glad that you have decided to continue. I love how raw and honest you are and I can relate to many things that you touch on. I too struggle with depression and anxiety. Hearing the things that you go through and how you choose to handle them is both cathartic and enlightening. I feel that you, like the rest of us , are simply trying to find your way and while doing so you are learning who you are and moving towards who you want to be. I am very proud of you for having the courage to take this on and even though things got hectic you still chose to continue. In my opinion you have always been an amazing young woman and I feel you are now on your best path. Best of luck in the future and I can’t wait to see your progress. Please know that you are helping others with your thoughts and words. God bless you

    Like

  2. Cecile says:

    Had no idea you were in a car accident! I’m glad that you only had minor injuries. This post is on point with helping me because I’m on a very similar path and positivity and goals are everything. Idk if you’re an Amy Schumer fan but her ‘I fell pretty’ movie was great in the aspect of loving your for you.

    Like

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